(PHONE RINGS)

ALAN HAD A TV CHAT SHOW AND WAS QUITE
A BIG NAME, AND THEN IT ALL WENT VERY WRONG.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY, ALAN?

- WANT A GLASS OF WINE?
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH. CHEERS.

ALL THESE CARS?

- DOWN THE SINK?
- YEP.

THE GOOD NEWS.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ YOUR "DAILY EXPRESS".

- HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, VERY BUSY.

- I'LL HAVE CHOCOLATE MOUSSE.
- THAT'S GOOD.

TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE,
IT'S 11 TIMES THE POPULATION OF HEMSBY.

- DO YOU LIKE IT?
- WELL, IT'S IN A BOX.

AYE. THIS ONE TIME, RIGHT,
L WAS STATIONED OUT IN BELIZE

BADLY TARMACKED DRIVES IN THIS COUNTY,

AAH. DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
I'LL POP THAT WITH THE OTHERS.

LET MYSELF IN. NEEDED THE TOILET.

THAT WAS A COMPANY WHICH WE SET UP. WE LOOKED
INTO ITS OPERATION AND CLOSED IT DOWN AGAIN.

AND HE IS MR NUMERO...ONE.