- NO, SHE'S NOT. SHE'S FIFTY.
- SO'S HELEN MIRREN.

OK. ROGER AND OUT.

COMPLETELY WIPED OUT.

I THINK I'LL GO TO MY ROOM AND LEAN ON THE SINK.

- HOW MUCH IS THAT?
- THAT'LL BE

EARLIER ON I PUT IN
A POUND OF MASHED-UP DUNDEE CAKE,

WE'LL DUB THAT OUT, PLAY SOME MUSIC OVER IT.

R-E-O SPEEDWAGON.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YEAH.

IT'S PRECISION ENGINEERING, EH?
LIKE YOU ALWAYS SAY, IT'S THE JAPANESE MERCEDES.

I AM A HOMELESS PERSON.

NOW, YOUR PROGRAMME...

WHAT DO YOU RECKON?
"3 P.M. AN AFTERNOON WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE,"

- DIDN'T YOU USED TO BE ON TELEVISION?
- YEAH. I GOT OUT OF IT. UNPLEASANT PEOPLE.

BANG! BLOOD DRIBBLES DOWN.

- SHE'S A BIT OLDER THAN ME. SHE'S 60.
- 60?

A PINT OF BITTER, A BIG MARKER PEN, WHATEVER.