- YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WATERSPORTS ARE?
- I BELIEVE WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT.

NO OFFENCE, LYNN,
BUT YOUR LIFE IS TECHNICALLY NOT WORTH INSURING.

I THINK I'D HAVE TO SAY THE BEST OF THE BEATLES.

- HAVE YOU KEPT IT BELOW ROOM TEMPERATURE?
- I DON'T THINK SO.

- (BUZZING)
- WE'LL HAVE TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK.

- TAKE ME TO BONO'S HOUSE.
- YOU WANT TO GO TO BONO'S HOUSE? OK.

THESE AWARDS ARE ABOUT PEOPLE
LIKE SUSAN CRESSWELL.

READ IT BACK.

HELLO, SUE. IT'S ALAN.

OF HAVING TO SPEND THREE DAYS WITH HIMSELF -

WHICH CELEBRITY YOU'D SPEND A BANK HOLIDAY WITH
AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO.

- HELLO, ALAN.
- HELLO, SUSAN. THIRD FLOOR?

YOU'VE GOT TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION, ALAN.
THERE'S A LOT OF LADIES IN HERE TONIGHT.

BONO!

I'M IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY. I JUST FOUND OUT
MY WIFE'S BEEN STRUCK OFF MY LIFE INSURANCE.

- WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
- WATCHED A DOCUMENTARY ON QUICKSAND.

NO, NO. WE WERE DELIGHTED.

(ALAN) LET BATTLE COMMENCE.