DESPITE WHAT I SAID EARLIER. AT ANY ONE TIME
I HAVE NINE BOTTLES OF WINE IN MY HOUSE.

BUT IT'S STILL THERE.

- I AM.
- WILL YOU INTRODUCE ME?

I WOULDN'T EAT A TOMATO IF IT SAID, "EAT ME"
WHICH IS NOT UNLIKELY GIVEN THE RUBBISH IN THEM.

WORD PORRIDGE!

(ALAN) LET BATTLE COMMENCE.

- LET'S DO AN INTERVIEW.
- THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

IT'S JUST A TITLE.

IN THE MEANTIME, IT'S SEVEN O'CLOCK.

HELLO. EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT WITH THE ROOM?

WELL, WE THOUGHT IT LOOKED LIKE "BODY".

DID YOU PULL THAT OFF ONE OF THE SHOWERS?

WHEN YOU'RE AT YOUR BLEAKEST MOMENTS,

FINISHED WITH THE "DAILY MAIL"? CHEERS.

- HELLO, ALAN.
- WHICH IS WHY SHE KNOWS ME.

I THINK I'D PREFER TO ADOPT. MEN CAN THESE DAYS.

.."I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE".

- (CLEARS THROAT)
- SORRY. I'M NOT ENYA.