- SHALL I PUT IT IN THE MIDDLE?
- THAT WOULD BE HELPFUL.

- DID HE LEAVE A MESSAGE?
- NO.

I'M GIVING THEM TO ALL LADIES I KNOW
AGED FIFTY AND UNDER.

- (KNOCKING)
- (LYNN) ALAN! IT'S ME.

LOOK, SONJA.

A FEW TOO MANY BLACKS!

- DO YOU WANT SOME CHEESE?
- NO, THANK YOU.

EXCELLENT. AND THE BAD NEWS?

READ IT BACK.

YES.

IT'S YOU, ISN'T IT? YOU'RE ALAN PARTRIDGE.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ YOUR "DAILY EXPRESS".

AYE, I DID HEAR ABOUT THIS CORPORAL, RIGHT.

I COULD THROW MYSELF OFF THE TOP OF YOU
IF I GET DEPRESSED AGAIN!

DESPAIR ON THIS VERY BAD DAY?

- THANK GOD FOR THAT.
- AYE AYE.

NO. IT WAS JUST A MR P NISHEAD.

FREDERICK EMAILS TO SAY HE HAS FOUR CHILDREN.