THAT'S RUBBISH. I KNOW FOR A FACT
MARTIN LEWIS GOT TWO POWER SHOWERS OUT OF THEM.

YOU HAVEN'T LOST IT, ALAN.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY.

SO, MIKE, WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

WE CAN'T CELEBRATE WITH THE SPICE GIRLS,

MASSACRE. URGH! NOT PLAYING THAT AGAIN.

MICHAEL!

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. WHEN YOU HAVE A BOOK OUT,
YOU GET LOTS OF CRITICISM.

- AYE. THERE'S NAY PORN ON IT.
- DID YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

OH, THAT'S VEY NICE OF YOU. THANK YOU.

SO WHY NOT GET YOUR ARSES DOWN
TO THE SPICE MUSEUM IN LONG STANTON?"

A LOLLIPOP.

I'VE GOT TWO...

IT'S EASILY DONE. IF YOU DON'T MIND BEING ANGRY
DOWN THE CENTRE OF THE TABLE?

I HAD A LATE NIGHT. WE WENT FOR A CURRY
AND AS WE LEFT, THE HEAVENS OPENED

IT'S TIME FOR US TO HAND OVER TO ALAN PARTRIDGE,
ARE YOU READY, ALAN?

- SO...SHALL WE START, ALAN?
- YES.

IT'S 11 P.M. TIME FOR "ALAN'S LOVE ASYLUM".

THAN A BOOK WHICH HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS
AND I QUOTE, "LOVELY STUFF."