182 DAYS IN A TRAVEL TAVERN!

- THAT'S NOT WATERSPORTS.
- WHAT'S WATERSPORTS?

(HOARSELY) OH, LADY-BOYS!

NO, THAT'S NOT WORKING.

AND YOU PRESS A BUTTON,
YOU HEAR ALL THE SLAVES GOING, "WOOOH", LIKE THAT,

CERTAINLY NOT "BRAVO TWO ZERO" BY ANDY MCNAB,
WHICH ACTUALLY IMPROVES WITH EVERY READ.

- SHE SAYS SHE CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE.
- CALL HER A FAT COW, THEN HANG UP.

THEY USE IT IN HAMMER HORROR FILMS.
CAN I TALK TO HER?

I'LL BE DOWN THE PUB, PROBABLY.

- THE RETIRED POLICEMAN WHO'S NOT A CON MAN?
- YES.

JURASSIC PARK.

I HEAR THAT ALL THE UNSOLD COPIES
ARE BEING BUNDLED INTO THE BACK OF A TRUCK

# THE MAN WITH THE MIDAS TOUCH

MICHAEL WAS JUST TELLING ME AN ARMY STORY
ABOUT A FRIEND OF HIS WHO SLEPT WITH A LAND ROVER.

WHAT ARE YOU TYING TO SAY?!

IS THAT INCLUDED?
IT'S NOT A DEAL-BREAKER BUT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.

THE ALIEN JUDGE IS SHOOTING THE TAXMAN
AND THE TAXMAN'S HEAD IS COME OFF.

I ADMIT THAT WAS A MISTAKE.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID "BAP".