BUT A FICTIONAL ONE IS THE WORTH OF BOAST WORLDS.

WHERE'S EVERYBODY ELSE?

- GOOD.
- HOW LONG YOU LIVE IN HOUSE?

- ALAN PARTRIDGE THERE...
- THERE'S OTHERS.

I WASN'T THINKING STRAIGHT, RIGHT.

- DON'T KNOW THAT WORD.
- YOU LEAVE, WE'RE LEFT WITH THE DETRITUS.

SO I CAME TO KNOW A WARM WOMAN
WITH A SMILE FOR EVERYONE. LET'S HEAR IT FOR LYNN.

- YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT.
- PUT IT ON THE SLATE.

- THEY SHOULD HAVE PUT "M" ON YOUR FOREHEAD.
- WHY?

DO YOU FANCY A CUP
OF DELICIOUS MICROWAVEABLE SOUP?

YOU'D NORMALLY ASSOCIATE
WITH A GOOD-QUALITY STATIC CARAVAN.

I'M ONE OF THE ANTI-CANCER SET.
WE'RE A DYING BREED.

- WHAT'S THAT?
- WE TAKE FAT PEOPLE FROM THE INNER CITIES,

DO YOU WANT A LIFT TO THE CAB RANK?

L THINK HE'LL BE A BIT TOUGHER THAN THAT, LYNN.

"COME BACK ON, ELO, AND CARRY ON PLAYING!"

- CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
- CERTAINLY. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

AYE.