THEY WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD IDEA
IF I HIT THEM OVER THE HEAD WITH IT

BRAVEHEART... AND, OF COURSE, YOURSELF.

RUBY GRAPEFRUIT JUICE.

- IS YOUR BOOK IN TROUBLE WITH STAN?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- ALAN PARTRIDGE THERE...
- THERE'S OTHERS.

OR YOU TAKE THE LID OFF THE GEAR KNOB
AND FIND A TESTIS.

LYNN, BIGAMISTS HAVE SEVERAL IDENTITIES.

THANK YOU. I'LL HAVE A BAILEYS.

LOADS OF WOMEN TALKING BLABBERING CRAP?

YOU'VE GOT SIX POINTS.

FIVE, COR! MY FIVE-BEDROOM BASTARD HOUSE.

YOU AND GORDON CAN GO AND LAUGH AT DRIZZLE.

DON'T RUB YOUR FANNY ON ME.

STAY STILL.

- YOU'VE NOT GOT A...
- ELECTRIC BUZZER? NO.

- WHEN DID YOU GET THIS CALL?
- THREE MINUTES AGO.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- I WANTED TO TURN THE LIGHTS ON.

WOULD YOU LIKE A SECOND SERIES
OF YOUR CHAT SHOW?