AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR ALAN'S "FACT OF THE DAY".

- SORRY. GOT OFF TO A BAD START.
- SORRY. WE ARE A BIT EARLY.

THEY'D HAVE TO TURN THEM UPSIDE DOWN,
SO IT DIDN'T REVEAL THE DETAILS OF THE DEAD

IT WILL BE DIFFICULT DAY FOR ME IN COFFEE SHOP.
I HAVE TO CUT THE CARROT CAKE.

- GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO DO IT.
- YEAH!

WOULD YOU BE PRONE TO TEMPTATION LIKE ADAM?

YES. CAN YOU HOLD THESE?

IT'S IN THE SCHEDULE.
VISIT TO YOUR MOTHER'S GRAVE, THEN "DOCTOR NO".

I'D LOVE TO FLY A HELICOPTER.
THE WORLD'S GETTING SMALLER.

(CAMP VOLCE) WELL, HELLO, ALAN,

- SHE'D LIKE TO. IT'S NICE, ISN'T IT?
- NO, IT'S A BLOODY NIGHTMARE.

HI, I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE AND I DRIVE A CAR,
BUT NOT LIKE THIS.

(FARTING NOISE)

IF JED AND I ARE BOTH IN HERE, I TEND TO DO THIS.

# ARE A MILLION TO ONE... #

THAT'S IT.

HANDS, OF COURSE, THE ANCIENT SYSTEM
FOR MEASURING HORSES

THE STOCKS ARE NOW OPEN
FOR CUSTARD-PIE THROWING.