IT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD.

- WHEN DID HE SIGN THAT?
- WHEN I WAS AT HIS HOUSE.

NO, IT'S FINE. THANK YOU.

THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING. WE'RE REVAMPING
THIS SHOW. I'M LOOKING FOR A CO-PRESENTER.

BANG & OLUFSEN.

HELLO, SUSAN. SORRY, HAVE I UPSET HER?

SORRY. THANK YOU, LOVE. A BIT ODD!

- YOU HAVEN'T GOT WHIPLASH.
- I KNOW.

I SHOULD SAY THAT THE OTHER VOICE YOU CAN HEAR
IS MY OTHER GUEST, ALAN PARTRIDGE.

- UM...
- IT'S UP TO YOU. YOU'RE THE BOSS.

SHALL WE STOP TALKING IN A MEDIEVAL WAY?
WHAT'S ON YOUR SHOW TODAY?

A DANKO NIGHTSTICK AS USED
IN THE SERIES "THE X-FILES".

NO WAY, YOU BIG SPASTIC! YOU'RE A MENTALIST!

BUT IT IS A SOLID BOG. THE CHEMICALS
IN THAT LOO WILL DISSOLVE A CORPSE.

GOOD. GOOD.

- MR PARTRIDGE, THAT'S THE KITCHENS!
- I'M GOING TO COOK ALL THE FOOD.

I THINK THAT WENT QUITE WELL.

- JUST A COUPLE OF JOKES?
- NO, ALAN.