WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HAVEN'T YOU PROGRAMMES
TO MAKE? NO, YOU'RE ALL ON THE BBC GRAVY TRAIN!

(APPLAUSE)

- IN THE WHOLE WORLD?
- PRETTY MUCH, YEAH.

TALKING...

.."I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE".

ALL THOSE PEOPLE THAT SAY LIFE BEGINS AT 4O.

JUST HAVING SOME HYGIENIC SNOGGING.

(GEORDIE ACCENT) VANDALS, MR PARTRIDGE?
MAKES YOU WONDER WHAT IT'S ALL ABOOT.

- WHEN'S LYNN GETTING BAPTISED, THEN?
- SPLASHDOWN IS 1500 HOURS ON SUNDAY.

BUT THANKS VERY MUCH
FOR THE GEAR KNOB, AND GOODNIGHT.

- YOU OWN KITCHEN PLANET ON THE A416?
- THE VERY SAME.

TIE A JACK TO YOU. YOU'D SINK LIKE A STONE.

YOUR COMMENTS WERE ILL-FOUNDED.
THEY WERE DEEPLY IGNORANT,

AN EXCELLENT IDEA. I'M GOING TO MAKE HIM
OUR E-MAIL OF THE EVENING.

IS HE GOING TO GET PETROL? NO.
HE'S JUST USING THE FORECOURT TO TURN ROUND.

- I'VE GOT YOU ALL A PRESENT.
- TA, AL.

THE VERY FACT YOU'RE QUESTIONING MY-MY-MY...
MY GOD.

I, ER...