COME IN. HELLO. SIT OVER THERE.

SO THE LAST THING HE DID WAS AN ACT OF KINDNESS.

I'VE SAT ON THE BASTARD. WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?

THAT'S VERY GOOD.
I COULD SEND HER INTO NORWICH ON AN ERRAND.

- I LIKE YOUR THONG.
- IT'S VULCANISED RUBBER

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIFE.

I GOT THEM FROM A CYCLING TEST CENTRE.

LYNN? I'VE BEEN EATING A LOT OF TOBLERONE,

KEEP IT, KEEP IT.

YOU MAKE PIGS SMOKE.

YES. BACON - TEN ON TEN.

AND I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THESE.

SHE'S NOT MY WIFE! I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS.

YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THROWING UP
ALL NIGHT FOR ALL I KNOW,

THEN HE SPIES THAT COOKBOOK
AND SAYS, "IT'D BE NAE USE TO ME"!

DAN!

- ARE YOU ALAN PARTRIDGE?
YES.

HE WAS IN THE ARMY AND I THINK
HE SAW PEOPLE BEING BLOWN UP...