BY RANDY MCNAB!

BASED ON MICHAEL PALIN'S "POLE TO POLE".

I WOULDN'T EAT A TOMATO IF IT SAID, "EAT ME"
WHICH IS NOT UNLIKELY GIVEN THE RUBBISH IN THEM.

NOT MY FACE! I'M DOING A PHOTO-SHOOT
FOR VISION EXPRESS!

I CAN AFFORD ONE. I'VE GOT A SIX-FIGURE INCOME.

- WOULD YOU ALSO LIKE THIS BOOK?
- WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

THESE CORRIDORS.

THREE WORDS.

"
THAT SOUNDS DISCONCERTINGLY VAGUE.

I WAS MAKING HIM LAUGH ON THE PHONE.

SO WE MOVED OURSELVES INTO THE MARQUEE,
WHICH WAS LEAKING LIKE A SIEVE...

NO, PLEASE! NO! OH, SORRY.

# OUT ON A WINDING WINDY MOOR

# TAKE A PINCH OF WHITE MAN #

THE FERRARI
OF THE COAL-EFFECT GAS FIREPLACE INDUSTRY.

DO YOU SLOW DOWN FOR CAR CRASHES?

ONE DAY, I CAME BACK TO MY TENT
AND IT HAD EATEN ALL MY FAGS.

ALAN, THERE'S THAT TEACHER CHAP.