WHAT'S IT ABOUT, THEN, ALAN?

NO, PLEASE! NO! OH, SORRY.

THEIR GIBBERISH CLASSIC -
AND MY TRIBUTE TO HER MAJESTY'S POLICE.

JUST TALKING ABOUT COWS.

- CHOCOLATE ONES?
- DON'T MIND, REALLY.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ YOUR "DAILY EXPRESS".

- WE WERE JUST GOING TO BLOW THE HORN.
- YOU COULD HAVE BLOWN THE HORN IN MY LEXUS.

I'M TALKING TO DOMINGO IN LITTLE OAKLEY.

THERE'S DAN. DAN!

- GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO DO IT.
- YEAH!

THEY DON'T KNOW WHY THEY'RE SO BIG.
THEY GO, "WHY AM I SO MASSIVE?"

SOME FUNNY, SOME TRAGIC.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HAVEN'T YOU PROGRAMMES
TO MAKE? NO, YOU'RE ALL ON THE BBC GRAVY TRAIN!

DO YOU SLOW DOWN FOR CAR CRASHES?

GOOD BAND.

IT'S YOU, ISN'T IT? YOU'RE ALAN PARTRIDGE.

A-HA!

IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, MEN WHO WANT
SOMEONE TO TALK TO. THEY'RE JUST LONELY.