HA-HA. YOU DAFT RACIST!

WHETHER I WANTED AN APPLE OR NOT
WOULD BE A SIDE ISSUE.

SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO SAY, "SOD ALL THIS WINE,
JUST GIVE ME A PINT OF MINERAL WATER".

BUT THAT'S THE KIND OF THING YOU CAN
SEE FROM...OH, WHAT ARE THEY CALLED?

YEAH, YEAH. UM... WHAT'S ROUND THE BACK?

GOODNIGHT.

- REMEMBER TO TAKE THE FOIL OFF FIRST.
- THAT'S JUST PIES.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, I AM
THE CHIEF COMMISSIONING EDITOR OF BBC TELEVISION.

YEAH, WHATEVER.
DID YOU GET ANY VALENTINE'S CARDS THIS MORNING?

I WANT A SIX-MONTH CONTRACT AT THE BBC
TO MAKE TELEVISION PROGRAMMES.

# OH, IT GETS DARK, IT GETS LONELY... #

BUT WITH BIGGER HANDS AND EYES AND SEX ORGANS,

I WAS SHOWING IT TO A GEORDIE LAST NIGHT
AND I'VE GONE AND LEFT IT IN HIS BLOODY HANDS.

CAN YOU HEAR ME? I'M TRAPPED UNDER A COW.

THE ONION MYSTERY. THE ONION MURDERS.

I MANAGED TO NEGOTIATE
A WALNUT GEAR KNOB FOR YOUR SMALLER ROVER.

TWO SUBJECTS WE COULD DISCUSS ALL NIGHT.

T. GLADDEN E-MAILS TO SAY HE'D LIKE TO CLEAN OUT
THE ATTIC WITH THE LOVELY KATE WINSLET.