- ALAN PARTRIDGE THERE...
- THERE'S OTHERS.

IT'S DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND WHY YOU SAY SPLIDDING

- CAN'T YOU JUST DIM IT A BIT?
- YEAH, OK.

(LIFT BELL)

EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, MR PARTRIDGE?

MY BOOK COULD END UP BEING RECONSTITUTED
AS A TABLE IN A HOME FOR BATTERED WOMEN.

"FLATLEY, MY DEAR, I DON'T RIVERDANCE....
GIVE A DAMN."

YOU'VE... YOU'VE POPPED OUT AGAIN!

I'D LIKE TO GO ROUND LEGOLAND
WITH SEAN CONNERY,

FRANK SPENCER,

BUT STRESS LIKE THIS JUST WON'T
GO AWAY AND IT HAS TO BE COMBATED.

YOU MAKE PIGS SMOKE.

- SHE'D LIKE TO. IT'S NICE, ISN'T IT?
- NO, IT'S A BLOODY NIGHTMARE.

I THINK THAT'S MY BREATH.

- VERY WELL, HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M FINE.

- UNLESS YOU CAN THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER.
- COULD GO SHOPPING.

IT DOES PRECLUDE YOU
FROM THE ALCOHOL THAT I'VE PROVIDED.

- THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. YOU'RE SACKED!
- WHAT?