DO YOU WANT A LIFT TO THE CAB RANK?

NO. I WAS INTERESTED IN SOMETHING EARLIER.

# THE CHANCES OF ANYTHING
COMING FROM MARS

MOBILE PHONES WERE LIKE BIG BLACK PLASTIC BRICKS
WITH A BREADSTICK AT THE TOP.

YEAH...

WELL DONE, LYNN. NOW, BEFORE WE GET UP,
I'M JUST GOING TO WARN YOU,

MY MARRIAGE FELL APART SOON AFTER THAT.

- DID YOU WATCH MY TV SHOW?
- OH, YES.

THE RATINGS WERE A NINTH OF WHAT WE COULD HAVE
EXPECTED, THEY STARTED BADLY, THEY GOT WORSE...

THAT APPEALS TO MAINSTREAM AUDIENCES
ON BOTH SIDES OF THE IRISH SEA.

..AS I HAVE, THEN YOU'D REALISE
THAT THERE IS A COMPETITIVE ELEMENT.

AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR ALAN'S LOVE BUD.

THEY PUT THESE IN MY ROOM EVERY DAY.
THEY KNOW I'M A MAN!

THEY REMIND ME OF DEATH.

(HOOTING)

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING. THEY MAY HAVE
VERY NICE TUDORETTE-STYLE HOUSING,

THE VEY FACT THAT
HARD-CORE PORNOGRAPHY IS NOT ON THE AGENDA...

YES. HE HAD A SECOND-CLASS
HONOURS DEGREE IN MEDIA STUDIES