- WAS THAT A SNUB-NOSED UZI?
- YES, I THINK IT WAS.

THAT'S A MILLION POUNDS!

HOW WAS YOUR DAY, ALAN?

BLICKLINGTON HALL WAS BUILT
BY SIR HENRY HOBARRT.

I'D LIKE TO THROW CABBAGES, HOT BOVRIL AND GRAVEL.

I REMEMBER I HIT A FOX ONCE
IN THE PEAK DISTRICT.

- I GOT FED UP GETTING MY FEET DIRTY.
- THEY LOOK LIKE ACTION MAN BODY BAGS!

I'D LIKE YOU TO RETURN
MY "SPY WHO LOVED ME" VIDEO.

I KNOW WHEN I'M BEING LIED TO.
I'VE BEEN LIED TO A LOT.

IF I'M GOING DOWN, YOU'RE GOING DOWN WITH ME.

ALAN, I JUST WANT YOU TO STAND BY ME
WITH A TOWEL TO HELP ME DRY MYSELF.

WOULDN'T WANT TO, THOUGH.
NOT UNLESS IT HAD BEEN STUNNED.

- ARE YOU READY FOR THE MEETING?
- YOU'LL BE THERE.

LOVELY PICTURES UP THERE OF LADS WITH BIG HAIR.

- CARDIFF?!
- AYE.

- EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU ALAN PARTRIDGE?
- YES.

I'VE BEEN WANTING A WORD WITH YOU ABOUT LYNN.
I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU TREAT HER.

I HAVE A MILITARY-BASED QUIZ SHOW ON CABLE TV
CALLED "SKIRMISH", AND A GIRLFRIEND.