THERE GOES ALAN PARTRIDGE,
LICENSED TO KILL...TIME BY WATCHING VIDEOS.

"LORD OF THE RINGS", "OF THE DANCE"
OR "OF THE FLIES". THAT'S TONIGHT'S "HOT TOPIC".

- JED MAXWELL.
- NO RELATION TO ROBERT MAXWELL?

- KEEP THE THOUGHT THERE.
- AAGH! I THOUGHT YOU WERE ATTACKING ME.

PHEW, THIS LOOKS DISGUSTING.

NO. I THINK EVERYONE'S GONE NOW.

EEH! 'APPEN HE THINKS I'M A RIGHT INDECISIVE TIT.

BUT I'M NIT-PICKING. A VERY GOOD EFFORT.
SEVEN ON TEN. LET'S MAKE LOVE.

MAYBE IF IT WAS VIBRATING PHONE,
IT WOULD BE QUITE PLEASANT!

THERE WE GO, LYNN. TONY HAYERS.

IT'S ALAN PARTRIDGE.

WE'LL STEAL A TRAFFIC CONE AND GO OFF SOMEWHERE.

SORRY I'M LATE.
HAD TO HAVE A SHOWER. GOT A BIT CLAMMY.

OOH, MINCE!

NO. I WAS JUST TALKING TO A WIDOW.

IF THIS JOB COMES OFF, AS REGARDS DECISION-MAKING,
WE'LL BE IN A "CAN-DO, GO" SITUATION.

IN THE NORFOLK AREA.

I WENT TO A FUNERAL, WHICH WAS VERY SAD,