SO BOOK A HOLIDAY WITH HAMILTON'S.
"WAT-ER-WAY" TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

I'M IN A STATIC HOME WITH THREE WOMEN.

- ALAN, HOW ARE YOU?
- WELL, VERY WELL.

I LIKE YOU AS WELL. YOU'RE PACKED IN A BIT TIGHT.

- WALT DISNEY! ANIMALS NEVER WORE CLOTHES.
- HANG ON.

- MDF'S BANNED IN AMERICA.
- SO'S THAT.

YOU SHOULD TURN THIS INTO A SANDWICH BOARD

INCLUDING YOUR WIFE, WHICH IS WHY YOU END UP
LIVING LIKE SOME TRAMP IN A LAY-BY.

HELLO? BATTERY.

THIS IS IT. THIS IS WHERE THE IDIOT LIVES.

BECAUSE OF ALL THE CHEMICALS
YOU PUT IN THEIR CHIPS.

HELPING EVERYONE RELAX IN "ALAN'S DEEP BATH".

(FARTING NOISE)

I'VE ALREADY DONE SOMETHING FOR THEM.
I DID AN AFTER-DINNER WITH BILL ODDIE.

AND IT WOULDN'T SHOW.
IS THAT HOW YOU KEEP YOUR FIGURE?

YOU ARE SOMEONE WHO HAS A PROVEN TRACK RECORD
FOR MAKING BAD TELEVISION PROGRAMMES.

..ABOUT 3OO.

THEN ONE MORE BIG SWING, LEGS GO RIGHT UP...
WHAT WAS THAT? TOO LATE!