- "YOUTH HOSTELING WITH CHRIS EUBANK."
- NO!

- I BOUGHT THE CHICKEN ON THURSDAY.
- CHICKEN'S FINE.

JOIN IN, THEN.

I'M HAVING THE BEST TIME SINCE SLICED BREAD.

WHAT DO YOU RECKON?
"3 P.M. AN AFTERNOON WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE,"

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HAVEN'T YOU PROGRAMMES
TO MAKE? NO, YOU'RE ALL ON THE BBC GRAVY TRAIN!

- HOW MUCH IS IT?
- 325,000.

I USED TO BE IN THE CHOIR AT PRIMARY SCHOOL...

WE'LL STEAL A TRAFFIC CONE AND GO OFF SOMEWHERE.

THE MAN IS MENTALLY ILL.

- DO YOU LIKE THE ROOM?
- IT'S VERY NICE.

- IT'S TODD.
- SERIOUSLY?

IT WAS INOPERABLE. I WONDER IF I CAN WALK LIKE THIS.

YOU'VE COME TO USE THE FACILITIES
BUT YOU'RE STILL A SEX OFFENDER.

- ALAN DOESN'T WANT A STUNTMAN.
- OK. "SCUM ON THE RUN." TAKE ONE.

ALAN'S LOVE ASYLUM

BACK OF THE NET.

- WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
- I'VE NO IDEA.