THE TROUBLE IS IT'D BE QUITE DIFFICULT TO SWALLOW

- DO YOU LIKE CHOCOLATE?
- PARDON... YEAH, LOVE IT.

YOU'VE UPSET HALF THE LOCAL FARMERS,
YOU SEEM TO ALIENATE EVERYBODY,

A GOOD SLOGAN FOR THE TOURIST BOARD.

TO PICK UP A TOP-OF-THE-RANGE
BANG & OLUFSEN STEREO SYSTEM.

"NUTTY PROFESSOR II.. THE KLUMPS"?

YEAH. I GOT A CHALK PENIS DRAWN ON ME
BY SOME SHIT. I'D LOVE TO GET MY HANDS ON HIM.

CHRIS. CHRIS FEATHERS. HI.

HELP ME, SOMEONE!

- HI. I'M PATRICIA LESSING.
- KAREN COLMAN. NICE OF YOU TO COME.

"LORD OF THE RINGS", "OF THE DANCE"
OR "OF THE FLIES". THAT'S TONIGHT'S "HOT TOPIC".

BASICALLY, TERRESTRIAL TV IS A DEAD DUCK,
AND WHO WATCHES A DEAD DUCK?

OH, THAT'S VEY NICE OF YOU. THANK YOU.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR ME, LYNN?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

QUITE LITERALLY. I'M ON THE RING ROAD.
THE THIRD TIME ROUND.

- WAIT. WILL YOU STAY AND WATCH A BOND FILM?
- I CAN'T. I'VE GOT TOO MUCH TO DO.

- EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU ALAN PARTRIDGE?
- YES.