MICHAEL, CHANGE THAT TO
"AN AFTERNOON WITH JUST ALAN PARTRIDGE".

I SHOULD SAY THAT THE OTHER VOICE YOU CAN HEAR
IS MY OTHER GUEST, ALAN PARTRIDGE.

- ALAN, I AM NOT NEGOTIATING.
- BUT I AM.

- EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
- JUST A BIT OF TUMMY TROUBLE.

I HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF SICK.

SO, JUST TO RE-EMPHASISE ONE MORE TIME,
HER CONTRACT HAS BEEN TERMINATED.

- I CAN HEAR 'EM. I CAN'T SEE 'EM.
- THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ON...

RIGHT. GO. JUST DRIVE AWAY. DRIVE AWAY NORMALLY.

AND WE WERE STUCK IN THE FOYER,
JUST POINTING AT THE RAIN, SAYING, "WE'RE STUCK."

THE SKIRT THING ROUND THE SIDE OF THE BED.

YOU USED THIS PAY CHANNEL.

MY MARRIAGE FELL APART SOON AFTER THAT.

VERY LAID-BACK PETROL STATION, THIS.
YOU COULD HAVE SOFAS IN HERE.

CERTAINLY NOT "BRAVO TWO ZERO" BY ANDY MCNAB,
WHICH ACTUALLY IMPROVES WITH EVERY READ.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TIDYING?

"OOH, SHALL I SIT THERE OR THERE?
OOH, AM I LIKE A LITTLE MOUSE?"

TOM SPOTLEY? WHEN?

SHE GOES ON A BIT.