APACHE IS A ONE-STOP SHOP.

JUST TO CHECK, THAT WASN'T
THE REAL ENDING TO THE STORY, WAS IT?

AND HE WAS ONLY THREE.

NO, FINE.

- COULD WE SEE THE RECEIPTS ON YOUR SPIKE?
- YES. I HAVE A CONFESSION.

BUT WITH THE APOLOGY YOU'RE ABOUT TO GIVE,
I'M SURE YOU CAN DIG YOURSELF OUT OF THIS UGLY HOLE.

I'D LOVE TO MAKE
A GENUINELY POPULAR WINE PROGRAMME.

SONJA, THAT WAS CLASSIC INTERCOURSE.

- WHAT IS COCKNEY?
- AN AREA IN LONDON WHERE CRIMINALS LIVE.

AYE.

BASED ON MICHAEL PALIN'S "POLE TO POLE".

- EITHER WAY, ONE OF US IS GOING DOWN.
- ALAN, I'VE COME TO MAKE PEACE.

JUST TYING TO THINK OF SOMETHING TO SAY.

ABOUT THAT.

- PING!
- PARDON?

CLAWS.

WHY NOT JUST PUT IT ON ITS WRISTS
LIKE LADIES IN STORES?

A LONDON LOVE TAXI. I HAVE PUT MY HEART
IN BACK OF TAXI AND TOLD DRIVER TO GO TO YOU.