ALAN, WHEN IS YOUR BOOK BEING DESTROYED?

IF YOU STICK AROUND
FOR THE AFTERNOON WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE,

NO.

I'D LIKE TO APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE IF IT REGISTERS.

- SMELL MY CHEESE!
- ALAN, PLEASE!

- DO YOU WANT A CHICKEN DRUMSTICK?
- NO, THANKS.

HE'S NECKING WITH HER. HE SAYS,
"I'VE GOT TO GO, LOVE. SOMETHING'S COME UP!"

OOH, I'D LOVE TO HAVE IT OFF WITH HER.

- WE'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
- OH, YEAH?

NO. SHE MOVED TO SUNDERLAND.

- MDF'S BANNED IN AMERICA.
- SO'S THAT.

I CHANGED HER SHEETS EVERY DAY FOR TEN YEARS.

SO, CHRIS, WHAT'S YOUR STRATEGY?

TIME FOR MUSIC. WHO'S THIS BEAUTIFUL BLOND
MAN WITH A LOVELY VOICE? IT'S ANNIE LENNOX.

- LONELY NIGHTS IN THE DESERT.
- THAT'S ALL FIXED NOW. I'LL BE ON ME WAY.

LET'S START WITH SOME PETTING.

I'M NOT OK.

THANK YOU. THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO KNOW.