WHAT AN APPALLING THING TO SAY.
YOU'VE PUT ME IN AN INVIDIOUS POSITION.

YOU'D NORMALLY ASSOCIATE
WITH A GOOD-QUALITY STATIC CARAVAN.

AMAZING HOW MANY PEOPLE THINK THE PETROL CAP
TO A FORD FOCUS IS ON THE OFFSIDE REAR.

- WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
- I'M LAUGHING AT THE BURNING ISSUE JOKE.

I'M SORRY FOR SAYING YOU WERE FAT.
YOU'RE JUST BIG-BONED.

ALAN, THERE'S THAT TEACHER CHAP.

MR T OSSER. THAT DOESN'T EVEN WORK.

ME WEARING A BEAR COSTUME.
THEY'D THINK I'D LOST IT AGAIN.

BILL CARR.

IS THAT YOU CAN'T HEAR
YOUR GEORDIE ACCENT ON THE BOARD.

- I TOLD HER THAT.
- YOU NEED TO TAKE HER TO A HOSPITAL, ALAN.

YOU SERVE SIMPLY TO ALARM THE PUBLIC
AND TO INFLAME THE FARMERS.

- A MINERAL WATER, PLEASE.
- STILL OR FIZZY?

I THINK YOU'RE SPLITTING HAIRS.

..ON THE A146 JUST PAST LONDON.

YOU'VE GOT TO MOW THE LAWN, WASH THE CAR,

THEY'VE GONE TO LONG STANTON SPICE MUSEUM.

YOU CAN'T BOOK ME AND ASK ME TO PULL OUT
WHEN CLIFF THORBURN BECOMES AVAILABLE AGAIN.