- YOU FELT A BIT SICK.
- MMM.

IN THE NORFOLK AREA.

POP YOU IN THE BOOT
AND DUMP YOU IN THE NORTH SEA.

I'VE NARROWED IT DOWN TO "LORD HOUSE"

SOMETHING ALL OVER MY WHATEVER.

IDEA FOR A PROGRAMME,
"LADY SHAPES WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE".

WHAT?

WELL, CLOSE THE DOOR.

STOP TALKING ABOUT AMERICAN THINGS
AND LET'S WATCH THE BEST FILM EVER MADE.

- NO. SPEAKER SYSTEM.
- SORRY.

SHE WAS A BIG WOMAN. I'M TEMPTED TO SAY
SHE WAS BIG-HEARTED, BUT THAT WOULD BE BULLSHIT.

THIS GUY GOT THE LAB ASSISTANT PREGNANT.
HE NEVER SEES THE KID.

- HER NECK? HER EYES? HER EYELASHES?
- NO. IT'S HER FEET. LOVELY DAINTY FEET.

I SAY, "THIS IS FOR YOU, TOM!"
HE'S BEGGING US, MAN. "NO! PLEASE! DON'T!"

IF HE TAKES YOU TO GRAVE, WE'LL BE LATE FOR FILM
AND OUR WORK WILL BE DESTROYED.

IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE TELESCOPIC DAMPERS
ON EACH CORNER OF THE CARAVAN

GO AND STAND BY THE YAKULTS.

THAT ONLY APPLIES TO ARCHERS AND JEFFREY ARCHER,