- WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
- I'M LAUGHING AT THE BURNING ISSUE JOKE.

RIGHT. I THINK I'LL BE GOING ALONG, YES.

- OH, COME ON.
- YEAH, ALL RIGHT, THEN.

I'M EARNING MORE THAN YOU THINK.
I'M HEAD OF MODERN LANGUAGES.

I WONDERED IF YOU HAD ANY MORE
ALAN PARTRIDGE TIE AND BADGE PACKS?

IT'S A COFFEE SHOP, BUT ONE MAN SAYS
TO ANOTHER MAN, "YOU CAN'T HAVE A COFFEE..."

ANOTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT IT IS
PEOPLE LIKE THEM, LET'S MAKE SOME MORE OF THEM.

MAKE A NOTE OF THAT, LYNN.

DID YOU KNOW
THAT THERE ARE NO DUTCH ELMS LEFT IN BRITAIN?

IT SAYS "COCK, PISS, PARTRIDGE".

- HOW WAS THAT, OK?
- IT'S NOT WORKING. YOU CAN TELL.

ONE MORE QUESTION ABOUT THE HOUSE.
PETROL STATIONS NEARBY?

I SHOULD SAY THAT THE OTHER VOICE YOU CAN HEAR
IS MY OTHER GUEST, ALAN PARTRIDGE.

(COCKEREL CROWS)
(MAN) A-HA!

ONE OF THOSE VEY FRAGILE ONES
WITH A SCREW-ON CUP/CAP.

NOW, THE MAIN THING... THANK YOU.

IT'S TRAGIC TO THINK, ACTUALLY, THAT GIRLS -

BUT IT'S STILL THERE.