SORRY. IT'S NOT GOING VERY WELL.

OK, RIGHT. ALAN ATTACK! LIKE THE "COOK REPORT"

- SWING A TIGER IN HERE, REALLY!
- YOU COULD, COULDN'T YOU?

ACTION!

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. WHEN YOU HAVE A BOOK OUT,
YOU GET LOTS OF CRITICISM.

THAT'S ONE CHARITY I AVOID.
DON'T WANT TO GET TARRED WITH THE MAD BRUSH.

ALAN, LOOK. YOU'RE TAKING A MAN TO THE PARTY.

HE THINKS, "I'VE PAID ME MONEY, I'M GOING TO
HAVE SUMMAT". SO HE FLIPS HIM OVER, AND HE F...F...

AND IT WOULDN'T SHOW.
IS THAT HOW YOU KEEP YOUR FIGURE?

YEP, I'VE BEEN PUBIC FOR THIRTY-ONE YEARS.

YEAH.

- YOU DON'T THINK IT'S A BIT TIGHT IN HERE?
- NOT REALLY.

CAN I JUST READ YOU SOMETHING
FROM "TOP GEAR" MAGAZINE?

I'M REALLY SCARED.

THAT'S JUST WEIRD.

- WHAT DID HE SAY?
- HE JUST SAID HE WAS MARRIED.

OH, NO!

IT'S 1 A.M. CALLING ALL PIGEONS.
THERE'S A CAT AMONGST YOU.