- I'M OFFERING YOU SOMETHING TO EAT.
- WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

YOU BLONDE BASTARD...FROM THE FUTURE.

MIND YOU, THAT WAS 20 YEARS AGO.

THREE, TWO, ONE, LAND.

NOT WHAT YOU WERE TAUGHT
IN THE ARMY - CAMOUFLAGE.

IT'S SAD THAT PEOPLE READ ABOUT MEN WHO
CALL THEMSELVES THINGS LIKE STAN THE STABBER,

THAT IS EXTRAORDINARY.

I PRESENT A MILITARY-BASED QUIZ SHOW
ON A DAYTIME DIGITAL CHANNEL CALLED UK CONQUEST.

IT'S NOT BOLLOCKS.
YOUR PROGRAMMES WERE APPALLING.

THEY WERE DOING EVERYONE, ALAN.
EVEN ME. IT WAS QUITE SAVAGE.

WE'LL STEAL A TRAFFIC CONE AND GO OFF SOMEWHERE.

I'LL JUST GO AND CHECK THE PARTY BAGS.

YOUR HEAD LOOSENS FROM YOUR TORSO
AND BOBS INTO THE DISTANCE,

- THERE YOU GO, TWO CHOCOLATE MOUSSES.
- THANK YOU.

HELLO, IT'S ALAN AGAIN. I'VE LOCKED YOU ALL
IN THE BOARDROOM SO YOU DON'T GET ME.

I'LL GIVE YOU A CHINESE BURN!

NO, ANY TIME.

GO AND STAND BY THE YAKULTS.