ACTUALLY, DO YOU MIND IF I USE YOUR TOILET?

IDEA FOR A PROGRAMME CALLED "FREE SPIRITS".

- THERE WE GO.
- THANKS VERY MUCH.

MY POINT IS THAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING
FOR THE POSITIVES IN YOUR BOOK,

BUT TWO YEARS AGO, I WAS A MESS.
I'D PUT ON WEIGHT. I HAD BREASTS.

- IN THE STYLE OF JAMES BOND.
- IT WAS QUITE GOOD.

- WELL...
- NO. THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY.

TONIGHT, I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE A SANDWICH
AND WATCH TREVOR MCDONALD.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HAVEN'T YOU PROGRAMMES
TO MAKE? NO, YOU'RE ALL ON THE BBC GRAVY TRAIN!

IT'S JUST SOME NOTES
I MADE LAST NIGHT, FOR A LAUGH.

TO MAKE ROOM FOR BOOKS ON COCKNEY KILLERS.

NO ONE WAS SUGGESTING THEY WOULD.

YEAH. POP IT IN THE MICROWAVE.

- IT'S A BIT MORE TASTEFUL THAN THAT.
- IT'S CALLED "TITSNADE ZOO".

INCLUDING YOUR WIFE, WHICH IS WHY YOU END UP
LIVING LIKE SOME TRAMP IN A LAY-BY.

WHERE'S LYNN? SHE'S NEVER LATE.

ACTUALLY, THAT IS WHERE YOU WERE CONCEIVED.

HE'S A MENTALIST!