..HAS GOT SOME RUDE GRAFFITI ON...

YES, INDEED. MY NAME'S DAVE CLIFTON,
AND THERE GOES ALAN PARTRIDGE -

LOVELY, GREAT... WELL DONE!

GOD, I'VE MISSED YOU.

PEOPLE COULD RELAX.
YOU'VE GOT YOUR PETROL, IT'S FINE.

"THE SPY WHO LOVED ME" IS A BRILLIANT FILM.
IT BEGIN IN FOREST IN GERMANY...

HELLO AGAIN. OH, WHAT'S THAT?

COULD I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

- HE'S A CON MAN.
- NO. HE'S A RETIRED POLICEMAN.

I ALSO DONE THIS COURSE AT THE ARMY
SCHOOL OF COMMANDO TRAINING.

I'VE GOT MY TICKET. SHAKE MY HAND!

- NO, YOU'RE NOT.
- YES, WE ARE.

OH! SORRY!

- GREAT. THREE...NO, FOUR LADY-BOYS.
- FOUR LADY-BOYS, RIGHTY-HO.

WOULD YOU SAY, BEARING IN MIND THAT HE'S
DEPRESSED AND HAS GOT RESPIRATORY PROBLEMS,

- HELLO.
- I'M NOT VERY HAPPY,

I MEAN, I OFTEN LOOK AT THIS
IN THE MORNING AND THINK...

- K-K-K-K-K!
- YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, YOU!