WELL, YOU KNOW, "WHEN DE BOOT COOMS IN".

THAT'S A NICE SHIRT.

I DO ENJOY THESE CHATS IN THE MORNING.

ACTUALLY, I CAME DOWN THIS MORNING
AND I COULDN'T OPEN MY DOOR.

WE OUGHT TO CALL IT "OUR HOUSE".

HE'LL NEVER GET BACK TO WHERE HE WAS,
BUT HE'S COMING BACK.

THE OTHER DAY HIS JEANS WERE SO FAR OFF
HIS BACKSIDE, YOU COULD SEE HIS ANUS.

"I DON'T KNOW. I'M BEING BAPTISED."
"DOWN YOU GO AGAIN."

"TAKE THAT BLUSHER OFF
YOU UGLY MISSHAPEN-HEADED ELEPHANT TRANNY"?

- VOILA.
- THANK YOU, ALAN, THAT'S REALLY LOVELY.

CAN I SEE THAT LIST?
I WANT TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

"DANGEROUS DOGS SHOULD HAVE
THEIR TEETH REPLACED WITH RUBBER."

- YOU EVER BEEN TO IRELAND, ALAN?
- NO. I'D LOVE TO GO.

- DID HE LEAVE A MESSAGE?
- NO.

(STEVE) I KNOW IT'S NOT FUNNY!

GOD ALONE KNOWS, ALAN.

- HELLO,
- FUNNY STORY?

I'M REALLY SORRY.
I REALLY WANTED TO SEE "AMERICA'S STRONGEST MAN".