I THINK WE'VE GOT TIME FOR JUST ONE MORE QUESTION.

SORRY ABOUT THE SMELL OF URINE,
BUT THERE'S NOTHING TO DO ROUND HERE.

AAGH!

IT'S YOU, ISN'T IT? YOU'RE ALAN PARTRIDGE.

LAST THING AT NIGHT AND FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
ONLY IT JUST GETS A LITTLE BIT SMELLY.

WE COULD CALL IT THAT. MAKE A NOTE OF THAT.

- THERE WE GO.
- YOU WANT FITTED SHEET?

ARE YOU TYING TO PUT ME OFF?
TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME!

I WOULDN'T HIT THEM WITH A SHOVEL
NO MATTER HOW BAD THE BOOKS WERE'.

- I'LL HOLD THE DOOR FOR YOU.
- THANK YOU.

- THAT'S WHY YOU WATCHED IT FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES?
- YES, BECAUSE IT WAS THE WRONG FILM.

AND YOUR MEETING
WITH PIET MORANT FROM DANTE FIRES.

EUROPE, CONSPIRACY THEORIES, WHAT HAPPENS
IF YOU JUST EAT CRISPS. THINGS LIKE THAT.

LOOK, ALAN, I DON'T WANT YOU FEEL THAT THE...
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, PETER.

- YES, I THINK SO.
- I'D BETTER ANSWER IT.

- IS THERE A NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH SYSTEM?
- I THINK SO.

- ANDREW.
- A FRIEND OF LYNN'S FROM THE CHURCH?

NO, ACTUALLY. IT WAS LIKE THIS.