IF HE TAKES YOU TO GRAVE, WE'LL BE LATE FOR FILM
AND OUR WORK WILL BE DESTROYED.

YOU'RE A LOCAL FELLOW. THAT MEANS
GOOD COMMUNICATIONS WITH TRADESMEN,

AND LET IT SLOSH ROUND MY SYSTEM,
DISPENSING THE COFFEE.

OH, I SEE WHAT YOU... RIGHT, YES.

YOU'RE MY PA AND YOU'RE INVITING ME
TO A RELIGIOUS WET T-SHIRT COMPETITION.

- HI. I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE.
- PIET.

- WHAT IS COCKNEY?
- AN AREA IN LONDON WHERE CRIMINALS LIVE.

LOVELY TO MEET YOU. I MUST SEE MIKE YAPLEY.

- ALAN, THERE'S A CALL FOR YOU.
- RIGHT. YOU GO ON UP, LYNN.

I'M THE DOG. YOU'RE A TERRIFIC RABBIT.

PROGRAMMES ABOUT STORMS? GET A LIFE.

YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING,
YOU'VE GOT TO READ THE SUNDAY PAPERS,

- IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU KNOW ME.
- OK.

I'M A ZOMBIE. I DON'T KNOW.

"PROGRESS IS TOO LEISURELY TO BE CALLED FAST.

BUT IT'S CHIEFLY JOY AT OTHER PEOPLE'S MISFORTUNES.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE MENO...MENOPAU...
OOH, JILL, YOU KNOW YOUR ONIONS!

THAT'S THE SUBJECT OF YOUR BOOK, "BOUNCING BACK".