HA-HA. YOU DAFT RACIST!

- SHALL WE PUT THE LIGHTS ON?
- NEVER MIND THAT.

I WANT IT ON THIS.

- YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET IT GO?
- NO.

WELL, THAT'S THE SMALL TALK.
NOW LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

HI, I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE AND I DRIVE A CAR,
BUT NOT LIKE THIS.

"I'LL HAVE TO TELL SOME OTHER RUSSIANS."

- HELLO.
- HELLO. YOU GOING TO THE LIFT, TOO?

- SHALL WE HAVE A LOOK AT THE REST OF THE HOUSE?
- YUP.

- AYE, IT IS.
- MICHAEL, CAN I HAVE A DRINK?

- I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE A RAVER.
- I'M NOT. I'M STRAIGHT.

CAN YOU HOLD ON A MOMENT, SUE?
CHRIS FEATHERS LIKES ME.

TO PICK UP A TOP-OF-THE-RANGE
BANG & OLUFSEN STEREO SYSTEM.

I DON'T FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE, IT'S JUST CONFUSING.

WHAT, ON THE ROOF?

- NOTTINGHAM?
- NO.

THEN YOU'LL KISS ME.

- CAN I INTRODUCE MY PA LYNN?
- HELLO.