SO YOU DON'T THINK I CAN TELL ANECDOTES?

HE'S GONE TO GET CAROL. YOU SPEAK TO HER!

NEXT WEEK'S GUEST PETROL WILL BE... TEXACO AGAIN.

- CHAP OF ABOUT SIX.
- RIGHT, SIR.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE FILM "THE CRYING GAME"?

- SORRY. GOT OFF TO A BAD START.
- SORRY. WE ARE A BIT EARLY.

THAT'LL PROBABLY BE A LOT OF TROUBLE, WON'T IT?

- GOOD MORNING, SOPHIE.
- GOOD MORNING. DID YOU SLEEP WELL?

THERE HAVE BEEN MORE COMPLAINTS FROM FARMERS.

AN EXCELLENT IDEA. I'M GOING TO MAKE HIM
OUR E-MAIL OF THE EVENING.

YOU ARE A BIG POSH SOD
WITH PLUMS IN YOUR MOUTH.

# BABY, YOU'RE THE BEST #

(JILL) WHAT DID YOU DO EIGHT YEARS AGO?

WE INTERSPERSE IT WITH THEIR FAVOURITE POP SONGS,
MAKE IT LIGHT-HEARTED, GIVE THEM A PLATFORM.

COLONEL MUSTARD IN THE EN-SUITE BATHROOM
WITH THE LEAD PIPE. BATTERED.

(COCKEREL CROWING)

MY UKRAINIAN GIRLFRIEND ATTACKED ME
WITH A RUBBER HAMMER. SHE'S MILDLY CRETINOUS.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.