PARTRIDGE. YOU'RE THROUGH TO THE STATIC HOME.

THE WAVES GENTLY LICKING AT YOUR FEET,

NO, IT WAS THE OPPOSITE. EVOLUTION, NOT REVOLUTION.

OH, IT'S A DEAD END.

- WHAT SORT OF DOG IS THAT?
- THE SORT THE NAZIS USED ON STEVE MCQUEEN.

- DID YOU SEND IT?
- NO, I SENT YOU A CHOCOLATE ORANGE,

ACTUALLY, THAT IS WHERE YOU WERE CONCEIVED.

- SORRY.
- I DIDN'T KNOW YOU CARED, ALAN!

LET'S SAY HELLO TO MY NEW
COMEDY CHARACTER - CAMP DAVID.

- THE OLD TEAM, EH?
- ABSOLUTELY. YEAH.

I WON'T BE ON IN THE MORNING, BECAUSE I'M DOING
LATES NOW, SO I DON'T COME ON TILL TWO O'CLOCK.

THE MONEY THAT PAYS FOR THE BLACK GRANITE
WORK SURFACES, THE BRASS DIMMER SWITCHES

I'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE. SEARCH ME! SEARCH ME!

BUT TWO YEARS AGO, I WAS A MESS.
I'D PUT ON WEIGHT. I HAD BREASTS.

THERE GOES ALAN PARTRIDGE,
LICENSED TO KILL...TIME BY WATCHING VIDEOS.

(SOFT SINGING)
# I LOVED YOU, BUT YOU LEFT ME #

# AND A GOLDEN GIRL

AND THE FRENCH.