WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO LAP DANCE FOR YOU?

- I'VE KILLED A BEAR! WHO IS HE?
- HE'S A BARGAIN BEEFEATER BEAR.

- I'M PUTTING SOMETHING BACK.
- STILL ANNOYED ABOUT THAT BOOK?

DON'T BE HORRIBLE TO ALAN.

WHO SMILES AT A BLACK & DECKER WORKMATE
FOR GOODNESS SAKE?

THAT'S THE SUBJECT OF YOUR BOOK, "BOUNCING BACK".

WHICH CELEBRITY YOU'D SPEND A BANK HOLIDAY WITH
AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO.

HOW'S THE GROUTING COMING ALONG?

- DO YOU KNOW BONO?
- HE'S BIG FRIENDS WITH BONO.

AND I DO IT IN A LOVELY OLD BULL-NOSED MORRIS.

# KNOWS WHEN HE'S KISSED HER

YEAH. STOP THAT NOW.
THEN HE LOOKS THROUGH THE PERISCOPE.

I LENT IT TO THAT BLOKE AT THE PETROL STATION.

IT'S WEIRD, THIS AIR BAG. ALL THAT POWDER
ON YOUR FACE, YOU LOOK LIKE A CLOWN.

- HAVE YOU GOT A SPOON?
- NO.

SO, JUST TO RE-EMPHASISE ONE MORE TIME,
HER CONTRACT HAS BEEN TERMINATED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
WE HAVE IT OFF ALL THE TIME.

IT'S A BIT LIKE DOING MY RADIO SHOW THIS, ISN'T IT?
YOU'RE LISTENING TO "UP WITH THE PARTRIDGE". BYE!