- HE IS BRILLIANT PRESENT.
- NOT FOR A MAN APPROACHING 50!

COME BACK! I'LL RIP YOUR BLOODY HEAD OFF!

- I'LL GET SOME CRISPS AND THINGS.
- ACTUALLY, JILL, A PIPE OF PRINGLES WILL SUFFICE.

WELL DONE, LYNN. NOW, BEFORE WE GET UP,
I'M JUST GOING TO WARN YOU,

- YOU WANT EAT?
- WHAT HAVE WE GOT?

ALAN, HAVE WE GOT A SECOND SERIES?

THE TAX PEOPLE ARE COMING IN AN HOUR.
YOU'VE GOT ONE HOUR TO GET READY.

WENT TO SILVERSTONE,
SHOOK JACKIE STEWART'S HAND! SUPERB!

IT'S ALAN PARTRIDGE. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

GUESS WHICH ONE OF YOU TWO LADIES
I'M GOING TO MAKE LOVE WITH NOW.

RUDDY HELL, IT'S SOFT CELL.
(MUSIC.. "TAINTED LOVE")

I WON'T BORE YOU WITH THE DETAILS,
BUT I DROVE TO DUNDEE IN BARE FEET

RIGHT. THANKS.

- WHAT IS COCKNEY?
- AN AREA IN LONDON WHERE CRIMINALS LIVE.

HE DIDN'T SAY, "THE NAME'S BOND,
JONES THE BOND. DOUBLE O TH-EVEN."

NO. NO, IT'S DIFFERENT
IT'S CALLED A ROVER METRO NOW.

THIS COOKERY BOOK WOULDN'T BE MUCH USE TO ME!

OH, GOD! UM...