"KOJAK"!

- AND I'LL SHOW YOU THAT MIRROR THING.
- NO.

DO YOU WANT TO GO TO PRISON? DO YOU?

SHALL WE MAKE TRACKS?

FANTASTIC. THAT IS THE ICING ON THE CAKE!

YES.

WITH SOME LIPSTICK ON AND A NICE DRESS,
AND SAID, "HOW DO I LOOK?"

- HER NECK? HER EYES? HER EYELASHES?
- NO. IT'S HER FEET. LOVELY DAINTY FEET.

NOW, YESTERDAY,
I TROD IN A RATHER LARGE FARMER'S PAT

IDEA FOR A TELEVISION PROGRAMME

TEN... KING ROAD IN IPSWICH.

OOH, WAI-YAI.
THAT SOUNDS GEORDIE, DOESN'T IT? WAI-YAI.

- WE DON'T WANT A CLOWN, ALAN.
- GOD, NO.

- HE SAID "GOOD MORNING" WITH HIS BACK TO ME.
- HE'S OK.

THIS GUY CANED ME FOR DRAWING A CHALK PENIS
ON MY BACK, WHICH I COULDN'T POSSIBLY DO.

I'LL JUST GO ON UP TO THE CLUB
AND MEET THAT VIDEO WOMAN.

IS NOT SO ENJOYABLE
AS GANDAIF WITH A LONG WHITE BEARD,