CORIAN IS TO MARBLE AND GRANITE
WHAT MDF IS TO WOOD.

ALAN PARTRIDGE TIE AND BLAZER BADGE
AND WAGON WHEELS. EXCELLENT.

WELL, THEY WERE WHEN I LOOKED THIS MORNING.

BUT WHICH IS WHICH? SORRY.

SHE GOES ON A BIT.

IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, ALAN?
I HAVE TO LEAVE THE DESK UNATTENDED.

AND WE LIVE TOGETHER. WE'RE NOT GAY!

I NORMALLY HAVE FILES IN HERE,
BUT I'VE GOT SOME IN THE ROOM.

SEE HOW I FEEL AFTER THE FISHCAKES.

WE'LL STEAL A TRAFFIC CONE AND GO OFF SOMEWHERE.

I'LL GO AND GET YOUR OTHER BITS.

SHOWED A LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OF AGRICULTURAL
METHODS, AND SERVED TO HIGHLIGHT THE STUPIDITY

THAT'S WHY I SAID THAT.

IF THE WORST COMES TO THE WORST
YOU CAN MOVE IN TO LYNN'S MUM'S BEDROOM.

- OK. WHAT ABOUT APACHE COMMUNICATIONS?
- I'VE GOT A LEAFLET ON THAT. MINE'S A PINT!

THANK YOU VEY MUCH INDEED.
KISS MY FACE!

- ADULT CHANNEL, THAT'S YOUR DIRTY MOVIES.
- NOT REALLY MY CUP OF TEA.

LOOK THICK OR IT'LL HAVE YOUR HANDS OFF
BEFORE BONO CAN WHISTLE IT TO STOP.