- AND LEAVE IT ON THE SPIKE?
- PULL IT OFF THE SPIKE.

ME? I'M HAVING A FANTASTIC TIME. YEAH.

GOD, I'VE MISSED YOU.

YOURS IS DIRTY.

STEALING A TRAFFIC CONE, PUTTING IT ON MY HEAD,

AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR ALAN'S LOVE BUD.

WHAT ARE YOU TYING TO SAY?!

- HELLO.
- I'M NOT VERY HAPPY,

I, ALAN PARTRIDGE,
TALK TO M.E. SUFFERERS ABOUT THEIR CONDITION.

L WILL NOT HAVE UNCLEANSED COFFEE CUPS HERE.
THE PLAGUE STARTED FROM A MALATTENDED SURFACE.

I'LL GIVE YOU A CHINESE BURN!

- YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY FRIENDS HERE...
- I'VE GOT MORE FRIENDS THAN YOU'VE GOT COWS.

NO, NO. WE WERE DELIGHTED.

APOLOGY.

IT'S TOUCH AND GO.

THAT IS EXTRAORDINARY.

ACTUALLY, SOPHIE, THERE'S AN ISSUE I'VE BEEN
MEANING TO RAISE FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS.

THIS CUSHION IS CALLED SCATTER CUSHION.
I CALL IT THE SCATTER LOVE CUSHION.